Topaz
by NonyaBusiness
Summary: Topaz is no stone, she is a person who's just joined the Cirque, but she is reserved and has a secret she's not willing to reveal. With a burning temper will she keep her cool or will she explode? And why does a certain group of people always bring something out of her more than anyone else? Especially a certain vampire. Rated T just to be safe.
1. Chapter 1

"Okay, so this is... yeah... Paris, could you say the disclaimer for me?" I ask.

Paris smiles kindly. "Alright. Nonya owns nothing but Topaz and most of the plot."

"Thanks," I say. "Now, please Read, Enjoy, and Review!"

* * *

Summary: Topaz runs from her past and joins Cirque Du Freak, but will she hurt those around her? Will she play it cool or will it backfire?

Name: Topaz

Age: 17

Looks: This mistrustful young lady has narrow brown eyes that are like two acorns. Her thick, wavy, prematurely white hair is worn in a style that reminds you of a wave of water. She has a wide-hipped build. Her skin is dark. Her wardrobe is no-nonsense, with a lot of purple, black, and red.

**|I-N-T-R-O-D-U-C-T-I-O-N|**

This is the story of my crazy, messed up life. I hated life. Life, it seemed, also hated me. In my eyes people are all evil and I'm the only one that knows it and affected by it. Life tears you down after you get up, life opens wounds that just close, life is a bitch basically. I've had to learn these lessons the hard way growing up. The real world is cruel, unusual, and full of the life I know as a bitch. Perfect stories have the hero always triumphant, fixing mistakes and errors, and that's a load of bull. Mistakes can't be fixed with an _I'm sorry_ you have to work for it and evil often wins. I want to make that clear before I begin.

I want to tell you that everything in this has occurred, but none of the names are real... in fact you won't know the names, countries, cities, nothing! It's all for me and those in the know.

Now this... is one of those rare real life occasions where it actually starts in a dramatic way, but it's not always like that, mind you...

**|C-H-A-P-T-E-R-1|**

_"Get outta here!" A man yells, throwing me out onto a small mound of poorly piled cement and causing my left leg to break. "We don't want demons!"_

That's the reason why I trudge through the forest, the cold air making me almost numb despite my warm clothes. I shiver as I think about the past I was running away from, or rather, was forced to run from. In truth no one would look for the strange girl with premature white hair who was thought of as a monster. My wounds from the rocks and sticks thrown by the adults and my broken leg make my traveling much harder and I have a limp. I was always an orphan, so no mother or father would miss me, and the caretakers and even children hated me because of what I can do... They would not report me missing. They would only burn my files and throw a party over my leaving and possible death.

I groan as I limp farther and farther. I have been walking for many nights (seeing as I was kicked out at night) and I slept during the day since it was warmer and traveled at night. I have better senses than anyone I know and reflexes and etcetera. I glare up at the moon, having nothing else to blame for my past. Anyway, I keep moving, ignoring my limp as best as I can. Soon enough I run into a tree... a nicely dressed tree...

_I'm losing my mind! I need to lie down and get some rest_, I think, curling in a ball and closing my eyes, not caring whether I die I not.

I open my eyes and feel warm. I blink in confusion and sit up and look around. I'm in a trailer and I see the nicely dressed tree outside. I think about going back to sleep when I realize something. I wasn't in the woods curled in a ball. I rush to the door and ignore my limp as I try to flee and I stop when I run straight into a boy with scales on his entire body. He looks like a snake with legs and hair on his head... and of course clothes.

"Miss Topaz, you're awake," a deep, croaky voice says. I look up and see a tall man in the clothes the tree was wearing and I realize that he _is_ the nicely dressed tree. "I prefer you don't call me a tree anymore."

_He knows my name and heard my thoughts!_ I think in panic.

"Are you alright?" the boy asks.

"Yeah," I mutter, standing and dusting myself off, careful when it comes to my left leg. "How're you doing with me running into you?"

"I'm good," he assures. "I'm Evra Von."

I wait a moment. "Evra Von what?" I ask.

"Just Von," he shrugs.

"Hey. I'm Topaz, no last name."

Evra smirks. "Nice to meet you Topaz No Last Name!"

I can't help but giggle at that joke. Suddenly I remember the tall man and he stands there with an amused smile.

"Hello again," he says. "I'm Mr. Tall."

"Hey," I say.

"Might I ask why you were in the woods alone at night?" he asks.

I feel myself close off immediately. "Reasons."

"You will have to tell me or I will return you to the orphanage and make them keep you."

I wince. "Fine," I groan. "They kicked me out. I decided to roam."

He nods in understanding. "You're limping. Would you like me to take care of that for you?"

I eye him suspiciously and then turn to the kid and he seems excited and encouraging. "Okay," I murmur.

He pulls out a dust and asks for me to pull my pant leg up. I pull it up and realize that my leg's covered in bruises and looks odd. He sprinkles the dust over my leg and it looks and feels right again. I blink in astonishment and look up at the snake-boy and he nods, confirming that this is all real. I test my leg and it works good as new! I jump twice and then a smile tugs at my lips. I then frown, wondering where I go from here. Obviously not back, and forward was the only way, but what to do?

"You can work here at the Cirque," Mr. Tall says.

I jump from the suddenness of his speaking and observe him. His dark eyes hold truth and I feel... like I could live with them. I wonder if this is a freak show and judging by Evra it is. My mind reels, but the more I think about it, the more open I am to being around other freaks. I was considered a freak, a monster, a... demon. I can't help but wonder if they will think that of me when they realize what I can do, if I hurt one of them by accident due to what caused those to call me such names.

"No one will reject you. You're welcome here."

I look at Evra and he gives me an encouraging smile. "Alright... so what do I do?"

"Well, you will help Evra with his chores. You will also be rooming with Madam Truska. Evra, let her know how everything works here and introduce her to the performers," he says.

"Yes, sir!" Evra grins. I turn to look at Mr. Tall, but he's already gone. I blink and look to Evra for answers. "He does that. Come on! First we've got to clean my snake."

I nod and follow the boy and see that his snake is beautiful, but I'm wary about her. We go about chores and I meet the other freaks and learn about as much as he can say in one day. He drops me off at Madam Truska's trailer and I see the beautiful woman named Truska. Her language sounds like seals barking, but I don't say anything and start for the hammock, but she measures me quickly and then sends me to bed. I'm confused, but too tired to say anything and just go to sleep.

I wake up with a groan and roll only to roll off onto the floor. I keep my temper and rise, going out to Evra's tent. I try not to think of the nightmare and find a boy there... Darren. I notice the both of them asleep and I can't help but let them sleep. I have good memory and can do the tasks on my own. I go about most of the tasks on my own, pulling my weight and even the two sleeping boys. I don't talk to anyone, seeing as I'm pretty antisocial and once I'm finished with all of my tasks I go to the outskirts of the camp, not wanting to go to lunch with a bunch of people I don't know. I have nothing better to do so I just lie down and look at the sky. I always like looking at the sky, day or night, and it brings me peace if only a little.

_I wonder what it's like being a cloud_, I think before I doze off.

_I stand in the playground at the orphanage and sit on the ground by myself, alone. Suddenly a ball rolls gently to my leg and I pick it up and stand, looking hopefully at the children in front of me. I walk forward and they move back, many with fear in their eyes, some anger, all of them have hatred. I shy away, but hold out the ball._

_"Here's your ball... Can I play?" I ask._

_A boy snatches the ball from my hands and glares at me. "No!" he shouts. "We don't play with monsters. Get out of here, you demon!"_

_He shoves me into the ground, my hands scraping the ground painfully, but the pain is not as bad as the one in my heart. I look up with tear filled eyes and they still glare with cold eyes full of hate and I can't help but wonder why they look at me that way. They run off and play together, but I stay far away, out of sight, and cry like the child I am._


	2. Chapter 2

"Okay, before I go on hiatus, I'm gonna give you a new chapter... I own nothing but the plot and OC."

* * *

**|C-H-A-P-T-E-R—2|**

I jolt awake from the memory and breathe deeply to calm my raging emotions. I can't help but feel my heart squeeze at the painful memory. I was only five in that memory. I grit my teeth and hate that they call me a monster, a demon. I can't change the past so I release an angry breath, the cold air making my hot breath visible. I bring my knees to my chest and move my fingers and realize I can't feel the tips. I let out a growl and stand, shaking my tired limbs before I start back to the Cirque.

I want to bury my memories, to put them into the back of my mind and I know the only way I can do that is through hard work. I notice its dark and realize that's why it's colder than before. I shake my head and move quickly into the Cirque and start to help out more. I put every bit of thought and effort into my work and ignore the others like I do before. They seem to sense something different about me because they keep their distance a little more.

_Good_, I think as I finish my last chore and start to walk back out to the outskirts when I see three faces: two are familiar and the last is new. The new one is a tall, thin man (who I can tell has muscles) with short orange hair and a scar running down his cheek and I notice he wears dark red. I turn to keep from being noticed, but it's too late. I'm spotted and I can't retreat like I really want to as Evra and Darren approach and the mystery man trailing behind them. I turn around and look at the boys and keep my hands in my pockets.

"Yes?" I ask with raised eyebrows.

"We noticed that you did our work too when you didn't have to," Darren says. "And we just want to thank you."

"You're welcome," I say and start to turn away when Evra grabs my arm and I stiffen, but make no moves. "What?"

"You haven't met him yet," Evra says, jerking his head in the emerald eyed man's direction.

"I am Larten Crepsley. Pleasure to meet you," the man says with a polite nod in my direction.

"Topaz, nice to meet you as well," I say and itch to get out of Evra's grip and just go be alone. "Evra, could you let go?"

He blinks and then notices he's still holding onto my arm. "Oh! Sorry, I didn't notice."

He releases my arm and I feel my muscles relax the tiniest bit. "Thank you."

"We didn't see you at lunch," Darren notes.

"I went for a stroll," I say curtly.

"You should have dinner with us!" Evra says brightly.

I narrow my eyes and observe them. I've been misled before. Kindness turns to something bad quickly and I don't know. People assume children can't be cruel, but I know. They can and will be if they get the chance and can get away with it. My stomach rumbles from lack of food all day and I can't help but curse it. Now I have no choice but to accept their offer.

I sigh. "Fine," I say. "Lead the way."

While the younger boys lead the way Mr. Crepsley walks beside me. I stuff my hands deeper in my pockets and feel really short. He's got to be over 6 foot so my 5' 3" height makes me look like a dwarf next to him. I hate feeling small. We walk to the camp fire and the freaks grow quiet at my presence, something I'm used to by now. After all, the children at the orphanage always did it, why not these freaks as well? I sit down and try to sit next to no one, but Mr. Crepsley sits beside me.

"Are you a vegetarian?" Darren asks.

I shrug. "It doesn't matter to me what I get," I say nonchalantly.

Madam Truska hands me a sausage that just comes off of the fire and I take it with a nod of thanks and pick it up with my forefinger and thumb and take a bite, unaffected by the heat. In fact, I welcome it gladly. I eat it and people stare in wonder, most likely shocked that I can eat a piece of meat that's just come off of the fire. I don't care and after cleaning my fingers I almost stand when I see Mr. Crepsley eyeing me suspiciously. I try and keep the hate out of my eyes as I get comfortable and stare into the fire, something warm and inviting unlike everything else in my life.

"So... Topaz," Hans says awkwardly to fill the silence. "How'd you get here?"

I glance up at him before I look into the fire and shrug. "I walked."

"Do you have a talent?" Evra asks.

_Talent? More like a curse_, I think grimly. "Nothing special."

"Come on, tell," Darren begs.

I feel my nose scrunch up like it always does when I get annoyed or angry, but not ready to burst. "No," I say firmly.

"And why not?" asks Mr. Crepsley.

I breathe in through my nose and out through my mouth to keep from losing my temper. "Because of reasons I care not to explain, but I will explain this... it hurts people and I don't want to hurt anyone no matter how detached I am."

_Not ever again_, I think sadly.

"Don't be afraid of your talent," Mr. Tall says, appearing out of nowhere.

"I'm not afraid of it. I'm afraid for the people it affects," I respond before getting up. "I'm done here. Good night."

I hate everyone, but I don't want to hurt them despite how much I really do. I feel crazy for my feelings, but there they are: forever to stay there. I go back to my tent and I feel cold grip me the farther I get from everyone. I pause, glad I'm out of sight, and then shake this feeling before I walk into the tent I share with Madam Truska and go to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

"Okay, so admittedly, I've had the entire story finished for a while, it's just that I've been and will be busy, and since I've done you all wrong, I will post four chapters TODAY! Hope you enjoy!"

* * *

I wake up and get straight to work, ignoring the calls for getting breakfast and keeping at my work. I don't want to be disturbed, but that wish doesn't come true as it nears dusk. Alexander Ribs comes and his eyes hold a fear that I haven't seen before. I know it's not directed at me, he's not that afraid of me, but he would be shaken. No, it's something else that has him terrified.

"Mr. Tiny wants you... don't say anything stupid, okay?" he warns.

"Trust me, I'll leave that to stupid people," I grunt, making him chuckle lightly. I feel a smile try to make its way to my lips, but I quickly stamp this out. "Where am I meeting him?"

"In Mr. Tall's trailer. Darren and Evra will be there too," he says.

I nod and walk to the trailer and walk in to see everyone standing and Mr. Tall and Mr. Crepsley (who I can tell takes shit from no one) stand looking pale and afraid. Evra looks deathly afraid and Darren looks wary, but curious. I then notice the small old man in the chair Mr. Tall usually sits in. I notice he has a heart shaped watch in his left hand and I then feel sick of being around him and want this meeting to be over immediately. I know that this is Mr. Tiny and he's why everyone's afraid.

"Ah! Miss Topaz has finished working," the man says. "Would you like to sit?"

"No thank you, sir. I would prefer to stand," I say with cold politeness.

He nods. "Understandable. You are quiet exotic."

_Pedophile_, I immediately think, but say, "Thank you, but might I query you?"

"One query already, but I will allow you another," he says.

_Damn it! Don't say stuff like I'd say it_, I think, but keep a cool outer exterior. "Why have you gathered us here?"

"Oh! Forgive me, I'm forgetful. I'm giving you three the task of looking after my Little People. You will be feeding them."

I have no problem with that. "Do they have any allergies or things that they prefer?"

"I'm so glad that you care if they have allergies, but no. They need meat, and a lot of it," he says.

I nod. "Yes sir, I will take good care of them and make sure that these boys will as well."

"You are a good little monster," he says, making my muscles tense automatically. "Oh, my... it seems I've struck a nerve."

"I would prefer if you not call me that," I say politely.

"Oh, then how about demon?" he asks, giving me a sadistic smile. Anger and sadness build in my chest and I grit my teeth to say nothing I will regret. "Ah, there is that spark in your eye... go ahead, do what you wish… attack me."

I _want_ to attack him, but I know that'll end badly. It would be so easy, he's just sitting there, and all I'd have to do is... I glance at Mr. Tall and Mr. Crepsley. They're flanking him, not in a protective way, but because, most likely, they have to be there. Despite hating them, I can't bring myself to hurt them for Mr. Tiny pissing me off. I gulp back my hatred and glare at him while I feel my muscles shake from anger and rage.

"Be the demon you were born to be," he purrs.

I shove my emotions down in a gulp with difficulty and look down at the ground, trying to keep from shaking like I know I already am.

"I see... you still have control, but let's see how long that lasts, little demon," he says before he waves us off. "You may leave now... and rise early. My Little People are always hungry in the mornings. You never know what they might set their mind – and _teeth_- on if they go unfed for too long."

With a quick nod I open the door and let the boys out before me before I stiffly walk out of the trailer and I feel my fists shaking with the attempt to keep in my anger.

"What did Mr. Tiny mean?" Evra asks.

I grit my teeth and release a breath. "Remember... I told you my _talent_ hurts people... I want to keep from becoming what they claim me to be," I say.

"Who's _they_?" Darren asks.

"No one," I say and walk away, setting my mind to my work around the Cirque.

_Be the demon you were born to be_, Mr. Tiny's voice echoes in my head and I pause in my work to keep from lashing out at the next innocent bystander. I walk away and go into the forest outside of the camp and hug my knees to my chest. I don't want to be a demon, but with my talent... I am one. I bury my face in my knees and let out a tear. I'm so sad and angry, but I don't know how to let it out without hurting something. I grit my teeth and clench my hands on the cloth and let out a frustrated growl. I can't prove everyone wrong if I let out my frustrations. I can't let them be proven right, that I am a demon meant to hurt people.

A girl comes to mind, young with curly dark brown hair, pale skin, blue eyes, and a bright smile. I feel overwhelming guilt and grief at the thought of her. She has a name, but I don't dare to think or speak it. I don't want to be reminded of my wrongdoings in the past. A tear falls out and soaks a small part of my knee.

"Are you alright?" a deep voice asks.

I look up at Mr. Crepsley and I turn my gaze back to the ground in front of me. "What do you want?" I demand.

"I want to check on you... Mr. Tiny is a sadistic man that loves to see others in pain. He would set all of New York City on fire just to hear one person scream," he explains.

I shiver at the thought. "Yeah... I can figure that."

He sits beside me. "What he said was obviously to see you suffer. I would like you to know that I do not think of you demon," he says.

"You say that now, but you don't know," I mutter.

"Then explain it to me... I will never know if you never tell me," he says.

"That's the point... I don't want you to know," I say quietly.

He sits with me in silence before speaking. "You must not let this get a hold of you. You cannot keep these emotions bottled up because, whether sooner or later, they will come out."

I don't want my emotions to come out. They make me feel weak, exposed, and unsafe. I can't look at him, but I can feel him observing me with his emerald eyes. I suddenly feel his hand on my shoulder and I can't help but jerk away and when I look at him realization seems to dawn on him. Instead of finding out what that realization is I get up and run deeper into the forest before circling back around and going back to the Cirque. I don't want to face him, suddenly, and I don't want him knowing about my past. I don't want _anyone_ to know about my past. It is bad enough Mr. Tall figured it out, but now Mr. Crepsley as well. I already have Evra and Darren wanting to question why Mr. Tiny called me a demon.

Out of the names freak (among freaks), monster, and demon, demon seems to be my trigger word that makes me wish that I'd never been born. I go towards my tent and get into my hammock. After a few minutes the vampire comes in and his eyes are soft and he comes forward and sits next to me, gently taking my hand and rolling up my long sleeve (I always wear long sleeves) and reveals the many scars on my arms and there are more all over my body and some on my face, but they're not that easy to see on my face. He observes with thoughtful eyes before he pulls my sleeve back down and lifts his eyes back to meet mine.

"... You were abused as a child... is that why you flinched?" I look away and notice he's still holding my hand, but I don't want to let go. "Who has done such a thing?"

"Everyone," I blurt out before I can snap my trap shut.

"Even here?" he asks, his growl making me worry for the freaks safety.

"No, everyone I was around before. Caretakers and other children," I say.

He squeezes my hand and then, most likely realizing he's still holding my hand, releases it and my hand feels unnaturally cold. "Why would they do so?"

I feel my mind start to numb and I shake my head.

"Do not close off once again," he begs, taking my shoulders in his strong hands.

I stare into his emerald eyes for a moment before I tear away. "It is how it is."

His eyes fill with pity, something I've never wanted, and I have to get up and leave. I can't stand that look, I never could from the one or two people of my past that _did_ give it to me (and they were people that I walked by in the streets). I don't want pity, I never have and I never will. It's a simple fact. I get back to work for a few hours until there's nothing left to do and I then go back to the tent I share with Madam Truska and I'm relieved to see that Mr. Crepsley's not there. I collapse in my hammock and go to sleep as soon as my head hits the pillow.

* * *

"Next chapter!"


	4. Chapter 4

"Here we go."

* * *

I wake up the next morning before Truska, like usual, and change into some clothes set aside for me and them go out and immediately run into Darren. I catch him and balance him. Weird, huh? Someone that hates everyone helps them anyway and is polite despite all of that. I never understand it myself either. Still, that's how I am and whether or not I want to, I can't change it. Believe me I've tried, but after getting shunned for most of my life I always have to try and keep from getting hurt even more.

"Sorry!" Darren says.

"It's fine," I say automatically. Darren observes me for a second, an unspoken question all over his face, but he's hesitant. I sigh, pinching the bridge of my nose with my thumb, forefinger, and middle finger. "Alright, ask your question."

He jumps at my suddenness and then gulps. "Why do you avoid everyone? I mean I know you don't want to show your talent, but you should be around others."

"Because I hate everyone," I admit, making him pale. "And everyone hates me back."

I look away when I say the second part.

"Doesn't it get lonely?" he asks and when I look into his eyes they're innocent, far too innocent to know the _real_ cruelty about the world.

_More than you know, kid_, I think as I stay silent.

"I wanna show you something," he says, holding out his hand for me to take. I look at it for a second then at him and keep my hands in my pockets. He puts down his hand with a look of disappointment on his face. "Topaz..."

I can't stand that look. "I'll follow," I say.

He nods and leads me to his tent that he shares with Evra. He goes to his hammock and then gets a bag and digs through it. He pulls out a picture frame and holds it out for me to take. I take it and look at it to see him, a girl younger than him, a woman, and a man. They generally look alike, though the little girl looks like the grown male and Darren looks more like the woman. I suspect this is his family and since he's a half-vampire he wasn't able to stay with them because he'd put them in danger.

"They were my world, along with my friends... Before Mr. Crepsley brought me to the Cirque I was really lonely... I guess I don't know what you've been through and why you're closed off, but... I know what it's like to feel alone even if there's someone there... that's how I felt for the first few months with Mr. Crepsley. You should interact more," he says.

I gulp and give him the picture back, but apparently he didn't have as tight of a grip as I thought and the picture falls and glass breaks. I feel guilty as he cries out and tears well up in his eyes as he crouches down to pick up the pieces. I crouch down and try to pick up the pieces.

"I'm so sorry," I say, but he glares up at me.

"Sorry doesn't cut it," he says with a tear filled voice and shakes his head. "Just get out."

"I'm sorry," I try again.

"Get outta here!" he roars like the man that threw me out of the orphanage.

I stand go to the door and stop at the door, looking back at him. "I really am sorry," I mutter before I walk out and run.

People get out of my way and call out to me, but I ignore them and run out of the Cirque... and I keep running and my blood heats up, allowing me to go faster. I run for so long the sky is dark by the time I slow down to a jog, but I keep going until my muscles burn in the not so good way. I stop, leaning over with my hands against my knees as I pant at the ground. Then I remember a piece of advice given to me and stand up straight, lifting my arms to rest on top of my sweat covered head and I realize it's easier to breathe. My breaths are deep and slow and when I get my breathing back to normal I sit down and allow a handful of tears to come out, but that's a mistake because more pour out and I'm all out sobbing, something I haven't done in years.

I hear someone and I look up, expecting a random person or Mr. Tall, but I see Mr. Crepsley. I look away, ashamed of my tears, and try to still my breathing again, but the sobs still bubble up and out from between my quivering lips. He doesn't say anything, just kneels in front of me and takes my face in his hands and thumbs away the tears on my cheeks. I try to turn my face away, but he doesn't let me, he meets my eyes and though he doesn't as the question aloud, I can hear it loud and clear. I shake my head, unable to answer and he nods in understanding.

I've never been able to do that... talk to someone without saying out loud. It's new for me, but not unwelcome. His eyes ask another question, one that I'm able to answer with a simple nod. He helps me up, but my legs are still weak so he picks me up bridal style and carries me back to the Cirque, but I don't know if I'm ready to face Darren. When we get back people look at me worriedly, but I ignore them as I keep my head on his shoulder and he takes me to my hammock and tucks me in.

"Good night," he says.

"Good day," I reply before I close my eyes and go to sleep.

* * *

"Next chapter!"


	5. Chapter 5

"Here we go."

* * *

Sleeping, it seems, makes it easier to sleep deeper. I had woken up early still and ate some apples from a nearby basket after asking permission and then I started hunting. I find three squirrels that decided to run across the street while a car was coming, a fox that I break the neck of, and then I get a cow from a nearby farm that has most likely hundreds of cows already. I carry my load quickly back to the camp and dump all of this into the trough for the Little People. I think of Darren's face last night. Nothing I say or do can make him forgive me for that accident.

That's the thing about real life... _I'm sorry_ doesn't cut it, you have to do stuff to try and make it up to them and mean it. I do mean it, but I need to do more. I work double, no, triple time to get everything done and since there's a show tonight I take up everything that I can as fast as I can and as efficiently as I can. People check on what I do afterwards, concerned about safety, but I don't mind. If I make a mistake I'm glad that someone's there to make sure it gets fixed. Once I'm done I wipe the sweat from my brow and suddenly Truska's in front of me offering me a glass of water.

I take it. "Thanks, Truska," I say with a small, but genuine smile.

She beams and walks away, most likely satisfied to have finally gotten a smile out of me. I don't smile, and I don't laugh... unless it's _really_ funny, but it has to make those around me roll on the floor before it makes me laugh aloud. I notice Darren and Evra checking for anything to do and the blood in my ears heats up, but I know my ears don't turn red as my hearing becomes sharper.

"Hans, shouldn't there be work to do?" Evra asks. "We're hours ahead of schedule."

"We're shocked too. Topaz did most of the work and really fast too. All we had to do was make sure everything was right and about 99% of the time it was. There was twice when we had to tighten ropes and Rhamus dropped his things so we had to clean that up."

"Whoa! That's amazing!" Evra gasps, looking in my direction and Darren looks shocked too, observing me.

I stop listening and rise from my seat and walk out, throwing away the paper cup and going into the woods to be by myself. I don't want to bother watching the show, I'd get plenty of chances anyway since I'm living with the traveling circus. After a while when I know the show's started I walk back into camp and go into the boys' tent and look in the trashcan to see broken glass. I glance around and see that I'm alone and then I get to work...

-A FEW MINUTES LATER-

I place the picture of Darren's family in his bag, fixed completely, and I walk out and go back to my tent feeling really tired. I decide to watch _George Lopez_ until I go to sleep...

I feel someone shake me and I groan, my head pounding, and I find that I'm _really_ cold. I curl in a tighter ball and feel my body shiver as I try to keep it warm. Suddenly there's pressure in my chest and a tickle in my throat and I let out a deep cough. I'm just thankful I can breathe through my nose still, but still... I feel like crap. I feel a warm hand on my forehead and I look up at Truska, who's eyes are clouded with worry, but I can't figure out why.

_Is she worried about me?_ I wonder, but discard it immediately and close my hot eyelids.

Truska leaves the tent and then comes back with Mr. Tall and he takes off his glove and presses his hand to my forehead and he hums. I wonder why, but I shake this off and close my heavy eyelids, bringing the blanket to right under my nose where it's most comfortable. My skin can't make up its mind though. It's both hot and cold, but when I get the hot parts from under the blanket they're cold and I have to pull them back under the covers, shivering more than before.

"How're you feeling?" he asks.

"Like crap," I answer hoarsely before another cough rips through my throat.

He shakes his head. "You will have to stay in bed for a day or so," he says.

"M-Mr. Tall..." I whisper weakly.

"Yes?" he rumbles, lifting his eyebrows.

"Do we have any cough medicine?" I ask.

"We have honey, the best thing for coating the throat in a soothing way, but you will have to sweat out the fever. It is best not to suppress that," he says, pulling out honey from nowhere.

I don't question it as the delicious tasting golden liquid goes down my throat, Mr. Tall, holding the spoon and feeding me. I feel something warm in my chest, something I've never experienced before and he tucks me in before moving a few strands of white hair gently from my flushed face.

"I am only a thought away if you need me," he says, patting my arm and walking towards the door.

"Thank you," I mutter before I go to sleep again.

* * *

"Next chapter!"


	6. Chapter 6

"I decided to post the rest of the story... or until I get tired. Whichever comes first."

* * *

"She hasn't woken up for days," someone mutters.

"Give it time," someone else says.

"Look, I think she's waking up," another whispers.

I blink open my eyes and see almost everyone trying to squeeze in my tent. I weakly sit up and glare at everyone. _What the hell are they doing in here?_ I think irritably as I rub my eyes and notice that Mr. Crepsley's here so it must be night time. I glance at Mr. Tall and he has a satisfied smirk on his face so I know that he has something to do with why everyone's here. I cough into my elbow, seeing as I'd have to touch stuff with my hands, and then Mr. Tall feeds me honey and I flush in embarrassment.

"I can feed myself," I grumble.

"Yes, but you've just woken up," he says.

I glare at him. "You just wanted to embarrass me," I declare.

"Maybe," he admits.

I roll my eyes and weakly move to get up, but Darren, Evra, Truska, and Mr. Crepsley (the closest people to me) push me down and I glare at them before I remember Darren's family picture and look away from him guiltily, but I quickly feel anger build in me again, but I don't feel hate... I can't bring myself to bring the emotion of hate out for some reason and it always seems effortless. I hate everyone anyway, so why is it hard to hate them? I can hate a lot of other people with such ease, but I can't bring myself to hate those in the Cirque, only get irritated at them, angry at most, but nothing hateful at all whatsoever. It's new for me not to hate someone, let alone this many people.

"What? I can't get up and do things on my own? I'm not five," I snap.

"It's not that... it's the fact that you have been asleep for two days," Mr. Crepsley answers.

I give him a skeptical look before I shake my hair. "Don't care, I need to stretch and I need air," I say, getting up and climbing onto Mr. Tall's shoulder and stop, feeling lightheaded from lack of food or water. "If you're all so keen on taking care of me, maybe food and water would be nice."

Mr. Tall helps balance me as he walks to the campfire and I smell the most amazing smell ever and I see bacon. I climb down quickly and run directly to Rhamus and grab a plate, holding it out with a pleading look. See, bacon is the best and I haven't had it in about a decade so yeah, I want it. I thank him when he puts bacon and pancakes on my plate and I scarf down the food before drinking water and I notice I feel so much better. I move to get to work, but Darren puts a hand on my shoulder and glares at me. I shift and my muscles are tense from his touch as I wonder what he's gonna do.

"You need to rest," he says.

"I did enough of that for two days," I mutter.

He shakes his head and holds out his hand. "Come on, I'm taking you to your tent and making sure you get some rest," he says.

I look at his hand and then at him, but unlike last time this time it's in shock. "You... forgive me?"

He nods. "I know it's by accident and I know you're the one that fixed it... I can't stay mad at you for that," he says with a smile.

I slowly take his hand. "I'm still sorry, though..."

"All's forgiven."

He leads me back to the tent and we sit down and talk for a little while and I find that he's not that bad. Evra comes in and talks as well and he's not bad either. I spend the rest of the day talking to them and playing cards with Mr. Tall (he's fair and doesn't read my mind, but he still winds most of the time) and let Truska do my hair before I go to sleep.

* * *

"Next chapter!"


	7. Chapter 7

"ANOTHER CHAPPIE!"

* * *

After getting well Darren, Evra, and I hunt for the Little People and give them their food and we move onto our work around the Cirque to make sure that everything is in place for the show tonight when suddenly I hear something groan and I look up and see a large pole used to give us electricity when we're out in the wilderness is about to land on the boys who are blissfully unaware of the danger they're in.

_For the love of all that is good and holy!_ I think in frustration as I run forward and shove both boys out of the way before I lift up my arms and feel heat inside my entire body and I catch the heavy pole with a grunt. I stand there, unable to move due to the weight and I groan as I feel my body heat up more and I adjust myself to walk towards the middle of the pole and as I walk and move my hands lower on the pole my blood gets hotter and hotter until it seems like I'm going to burst as I get to the bottom to keep it from moving. I move my fingers around the broken part and it mends to not break again and when the heat leaves I have not even the strength to stand so I collapse.

"Topaz!" the boys yell, running over.

"Are you okay?" Darren asks.

"You saved our lives," Evra says.

I laugh sarcastically, but it comes out breathless. "You boys need to pay more attention," I say and move to get up but find I can't. With a pain filled groan I suddenly feel the heat of a nearby fire and my eyebrows come together. I don't know why I feel this, but all I know is I need to go there. "Take me to the fire, I think I need food."

They nod and struggle to get me to the fire. As we near my strength returns only a little. I tell them to put me near the fire and I stare into the flames, feeling better, but nowhere near strong enough to go about my usual tasks. I lay there for a while, for so long that Mr. Crepsley's come out for dinner (more like breakfast for him) and I'm fed some food, but it doesn't seem to refuel me like I think it would.

I take a deep breath in and I notice a small part of the flame comes toward me, but when I breathe out it retreats back into the large flame. I let out all of the air in my lungs and breathe as deeply as I can for as long as I can, the flames entering my mouth and going down my esophagus to settle in my stomach and as I do this I realize that my strength is returning as the fire gets smaller. I continue to suck in my breath until the flames are diminished. I finally breathe out and only smoke escapes and then I stand with a triumphant grin (mentally) and everyone blinks at me.

"You can eat fire?!" Alexander says.

"Even I can't do that," Rhamus says.

I blink. "Yeah... I just found that out too."

"No," the Twisting Twins gasp in shock.

"Will you reveal your talent now?" Evra asks.

"No, I won't ever show you my talent. This is as close as you will _ever_ get," I growl and turn on my heel and go back to work.

Fire burns through my veins and I can feel my temper wanting to come out. I help get everything together for the show, working harder and faster than the freaks and other stage hands. I can't help but put my energy into my work because if I don't someone will get hurt and then I'll get hurt again. I do my last task and find a secluded area in the fields nearby and I sit in the tree, rubbing my arms. Mr. Crepsley's the only one that's ever seen my scars and the second to discover my past in Cirque Du Freak. I don't want anyone else to find out and I don't want him getting any closer to me than he already is. Suddenly I hear someone and I look down and see Mr. Tall.

"What do you want?" I ask.

"Nothing. Simply that you return to camp. Everyone is questioning your whereabouts."

"Why? I'm an antisocial demon," I say sourly.

"Don't _ever_ call yourself that," Mr. Tall snaps at me, his eyes filled with fierce protectiveness. "You're not a demon. You're Topaz, and don't you forget it."

I blink at his fierceness and turn my gaze to my feet. "But... I'm no better than one... You know what I did..."

"Yes, but that was an accident. You can't blame yourself for that, you must let it go. You need to open up and-," I interrupt him.

My eyes lift to his and I growl, "No! If I open up, bad things will happen. I can't let anyone get hurt because of me."

"At least open up emotionally," he sighs.

I look away, unsure. "It's hard to open up when people can turn on you in a split second. It's happened before... someone acts nice and I start to relax and they attack."

"You'll find that freaks are more lenient because of each of us has a past. Freaks stay together and don't judge," he informs.

"I don't know..." I shake my head.

"For now come back and get rest. The show is about to start and you've done more work than any of us," he says.

I nod and jump down to stand next to him. If I feel like a dwarf next to Mr. Crepsley, I feel like a midget of midgets next to Mr. Tall. I find myself more comfortable around him. He puts a hand on my shoulder and I stiffen. He apologizes and leads me back to my tent and ensures I'm in bed before he leaves. I change into pajamas: pajama bottoms and a plain white long sleeved shirt before I eat some Doritos while I watch the TV we have in the room. After a while I finally drift off when Fran's complaining about her mother to Mr. Sheffield in _The Nanny_.

* * *

"Next chapter!"


	8. Chapter 8

"Okay... I'm leaving you with a cliffhanger!"

* * *

I wake up to Madam Truska's prodding. I groan and roll over, but after many more insisting pokes I groan and sit up, looking at her. "What is it, Truska?"

She gestures for me to get up and I get up and she holds out clothes. I think that she must be tired of seeing me in the same clothes I've been wearing and I nod and wait for her to leave to change. I find myself in black boots, dark red pants, a long sleeved dark red shirt, a black button up vest, and a crimson sash to do with what I will, whether put it on my head or around my waist. I put it around my waist and find that I look like a pirate. I smile at my new look and thank Truska. She smiles and gives me breakfast. After eating I go to hunt for the Little People to find that the task has been done by the boys.

_They're getting on their game since I've been doing the most_, I think as I go into the big tent and start to clean the stands, after all there's another show tonight and I need to pull my weight and then some to make myself feel satisfied with paying back Mr. Tall and the freaks for allowing me to live here. Darren and Evra try to make small talk, and for once I participate (very little, but still) and they seem overjoyed at this. I'm surprised at how something so little can cause them such happiness.

"Are you gonna watch the show tonight?" Evra asks. "You know, since you've never watched before?"

"I don't know," I shrug.

Darren smiles. "Come on, you'll love it. I know I did my first time. And Cormac Limbs is performing too. His act's amazing!"

I pause and then nod. "Sure. That sounds good. I'll watch tonight if I don't have to work on anything."

"You don't have to," Mr. Tall says, popping up from nowhere.

I jump and press my hand to my chest. "Don't _do_ that!"

"You can sit in the audience if you wish," he continues.

"Thank you, Mr. Tall," I say with a smile.

"You're welcome," he nods.

Hours later I'm allowed to come in to watch. I sit next to Sam and R.V., two friends of Darren and Evra. I watch the Wolf-man act and I gulp. He's a dangerous act, but R.V. doesn't seem to comprehend this, being an ecowarrior and all, and seems to be upset about that. I don't know why the boys gave _him_ a ticket, but it's too late now. I watch everything in awe and I can't believe I haven't seen this. Cormac Limbs impresses me and I'm glad to see that he has all of his limbs. He has Gertha Teeth bite off his hand to demonstrate. Then Mr. Crepsley and Darren come on and I watch them handle the dangerous spider. At the end of the show I smile and applaud like everyone else and get up and start to clean up.

"You're part of all of this?" R.V. asks.

"Yeah. Mr. Tall found me and offered to let me stay here, so I've been staying and working around the Cirque to pay them back for the kindness," I answer as I pick up a popcorn bucket that's halfway full and a coke that's barely been drunk out of and scowl at their wastefulness. "This is my first time seeing everything and I'm glad to have seen it."

"So... how do you treat every animal?" he asks.

"With care and respect, we make sure they're fed and well-groomed, and very comfortable," I assure, putting the trash in the trashcans.

"And their food?"

"Obviously what's healthy for them. We don't feed them chocolate, that'll kill most of them," I say, annoyance started to bubble in my chest.

"And what about the Wolf-man? Where do you keep him?"

"Look, I hate people, and I'm _going to_ punch you in the throat if you keep asking me stupid questions," I growl, turning to glare at him.

He huffs and glares at me. "Something about this place is shifty when it comes to the care of animals and I'm gonna find out what."

"I _told_ you that we take care of them! Go ask someone else if you're so curious... oh gosh, why do I bother with this ass?" I ask myself as I get back to work with anger and irritation obviously emanating from me by how everyone avoids me.

I see that R. V. left and I let out a sigh of relief. I can't stand that man. I finish cleaning the entire tent and walk out tired and exhausted, but I can't go to bed yet. First I have to see Mr. Tall. I go to his trailer and knock on the door and enter when he calls for me to come in.

"Hello, Topaz. What is it?" he asks.

Obviously he's decided not to read my mind. "R. V.'s curious about how we treat the animals, particularly the Wolf-man. I told him that we treat them with care and respect, make sure they're fed, groomed and comfortable, and feed them what's healthy, but he still wants to know more. I told him to ask someone else, but I think he doesn't believe me."

"Thank you for informing me. I'll be keeping an eye out for him. Go to sleep, you're obviously exhausted."

I nod and go back to the tent and get in my pajamas when I'm sure Truska's asleep. Once I do that I brush my teeth and put up my hair and then go to sleep.

I go out and hunt for the Little People and while doing that I hear something. I walk and find that R.V.'s confronting Darren. I observe for a minute and then Darren picks up the 400 pound man and throws him and I'm impressed, but he's a half-vampire so it's to be expected.

"W-what are you?" R.V. demands.

"I'm only a baby monster. You should see what the adults can do," Darren says.

I come out of the shadows and glare at R.V. as I address the boy. "Darren, is this guy bothering you?"

R.V. pales and Darren shakes his head. "No, he's just leaving."

"I'm calling the police!"

I walk forward and shove him back down, warmth spreading through my body. "You're not doing a thing. Darren, you go back, let the adults talk," I say, hinting at I'm an adult monster like Darren says and R.V. pales further. When Darren leaves I bend down and grab his beard. "If I hear or see you ever again... I will kill you like the animal you are."

"You're a monster."

"You're a hypocrite," I say lowly and yank his beard. "Stay away from the Cirque or I'll castrate you and kill you... now leave."

I get up and walk away back to the Cirque to find that we're packing up after tonight's show. I find this a good thing because R.V.'s gonna do something if he's as dumb as I think he may be. I help set up for the show and sit down and watch. Once the show's over I get to work on cleaning and after a while I feel cold settle in my stomach. I don't know why until I hear the Wolf-man's howl a far way away. That's when I know.

The Wolf-man's been released. And I know exactly who did it: R.V.

While cursing under my breath I run in the direction of the howls, my legs burning to make myself go faster. The howls sound closer than ever before as I run and I can't seem to run fast enough. Someone's in trouble and I sniff the air, the scent that the Wolf-man's following is Darren's… and Sam's. I hear the howling stop and I know he's caught someone. I feel my legs burn and my lungs begin to burn as well, but I keep going until I see a sight that horrifies me. The Wolf-man's eating Sam while he's still alive and Darren's unconscious, most likely his next meal. I close my eyes and sigh, knowing what I have to do. I run forward, body heated and on fire, and I shove the Wolf-man away from Sam. The Wolf-man turns and snarls at me, but then I do something that sends terror through his veins. My hand is aflame. He backs away and I get a firm grip on his scruff, putting my flame directly in his face to keep him from biting me.

"You're lucky I don't set you on fire for what you've done," I say in a low voice and then turn my gaze on Sam and Darren, who's awake. I feel afraid that I'll be rejected. "Darren…"

"No, no, no… thank you for saving me," he says quickly.

I smile and realize that he's not that bad, that he isn't afraid of what I can do. He doesn't think that I'm a demon. I feel the Wolf-man jerk and I tighten my grip and bring him closer to my flame and see Mr. Crepsley. He's watching the scene with observant eyes and then I turn before I can see rejection and I drag the Wolf-man as my entire body, especially my arm that keeps the Wolf-man restrained, burns with strength I normally wouldn't have. I hear gasps of wonder as I enter the camp and I throw the Wolf-man in the cage. He growls and thinks he has the balls to move forward so I fuel my fire with my held in temper with a growl and he moves to the back of the cage while I close and lock the cage. I let my flames go back into my skin and I turn to the freaks, expecting rejection and hate like usual, but they stare at me in awe before breaking into cheering and congratulating me and patting me on the back, something that makes me tense, but I'm shocked.

"I told you not to be afraid of your talent," Mr. Tall says, making me jump in surprise as I whirl around and see him. "No one would reject you."

I say nothing, knowing something's bound to happen eventually because of my talent and someone will get hurt. After all, flames cause nothing but harm. I go to my tent and get into my hammock fully dressed, but Truska's not here so I'm here by myself. I can't fall asleep and I just swing in my hammock, the TV on, but I'm not paying attention to it. After three episodes in _The Nanny_ marathon the tent flap opens and I expect Truska, but it's Mr. Crepsley. He walks to me and I can't look at him, I merely look at the ground in front of me, and eventually his shoes. After a moment of silence he sits next to me and rocks the hammock with his weight before he takes my hand, the one I set aflame, in his own larger one and he swings us silently with his long legs for a while before he breaks the silence.

"You do know that I do not think you a demon... right?" He asks.

I shrug. "I guess."

"Why are you so reluctant to use your gift other than rejection?" he questions.

"It's a long story," I mutter.

"I have time, and I am willing to listen... do you not trust me?" he asks.

I look up at him and look into his emerald eyes. He hasn't said anything about my scars and abuse to anyone, and he hasn't rejected me for my talent. I find that I _do_ trust him, if not more than Mr. Tall and I trust the tall man a lot after what he's done for me. I nod and he waits silently for me to start the story. I think of where to begin and I sigh.

* * *

"Didn't believe me did you? I told you."


End file.
